17 Things you need to know before moving to China

China is one of those places that no matter how much you prepare yourself for the culture shock, living here will still shock you each and every day. From the little old Chinese ladies spitting their guts up right in front of you, to the oh so spicy cuisine. Living in China is no walk in the park, so without further ado here are 17 things that I think you should know before moving to China.

1. You’ll never have normal bowel movements again.

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2. WTF is a phrase you’ll use on the daily due to so many things just not making any sense.

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3. Get used to paying way over a fiver for any kind of cheese, including the plastic kind. It’s hard not to get a little ‘hangry’ every time you’re in the supermarket.

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4. Milk tea will become your go to drink. One ‘Oreo cheese milk tea’, thank you, please!

5. Karaoke will become a way of life. KTV anyone?

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6. Depending on which city you’re in, people will look at you in utter bewilderment that there’s a white person here. They’ll then proceed to try and take a not so sneaky selfie with you.

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7. That time you tried to learn French or Spanish will seem like a walk in the park. Learning Chinese will actually blow your mind!

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8. If shopping in China isn’t difficult enough. Try finding an item of clothing without random Chinglish phrases all over it, that make absolutely NO sense.

9. Crossing the road here is like crossing the M25 with your eyes closed. Five lanes of traffic, no one paying attention to traffic lights, it’s every man, women and dog dressed as a human for themselves. Go, quick!

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10. VPN (Virtual Private Network) will become your lifeline to the world outside of China. Without it, say goodbye to Instagram, Facebook and Google, you know, all the essentials!

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11. Spitting could be condsidered an Olympic sport here in China – never before will you have heard such a disgustng noise, EVERYWHERE you go. I mean who doesn’t want to see a little old Chinese lady coughing her guts up and spitting it out right next to you! Just deal with it

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12. Every day is carboside. Pasta, noodles, rice, repeat!

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13. Within a few weeks you’ll most probably have forgotton what a blue sky looks like. From now on it’s all grey skies and face masks.

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14. Going to the supermarket is like going to the seaside. Buckets full of angry crabs and tons of fish swimming or sometimes flying about everywhere.

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15. If you want to get to a place in super speedy record time, jump on one of the high speed trains here, they’re awesome, always on time and reaching speeds of up to 268 mph. Network Rail could definitely learn a thing or two.

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16. Rules. They have them, they ALWAYS break them. If you see a no smoking sign, there will be someone smoking right beneath it.

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17. Forget that inner Brit in you encouraging you to start queing. If you want to get anywhere in China, start scrambling with the rest of them. If you’ve expereinced rush hour in London, you know what to do!

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READ MORE >>> GETTING USED TO LIFE IN CHINA

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